The Advantages and Disadvantages of Beauty in Love Relationships, Marriage, and Dating
Who wouldn’t want to be beautiful? What is beauty? Perhaps, we have all given these questions consideration at one time or another. I would opt to be beautiful if given the choice. Based upon some of my observations of standard beauty, I know it would give me a competitive edge as would youth. I have followed a beautiful woman around all day, many days, to see what it is like to be praised and admired by those people a beautiful woman meets. I have observed others in order to learn about the pros and cons of having an attractive appearance.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Anyone could potentially be beautiful according to another person. Some people prefer blondes. Others prefer tanned skin. Even others prefer tall people. Everyone has his own preferences; yet, there are some people who have facial and body proportions that are considered beautiful by the majority. Those people who tend to fall into the category of standard beauty tend to get a lot of extra attention throughout the day.
The attention given to a beautiful woman is that of having all eyes on her and that of receiving many compliments. People will talk to her a lot, offer her free drinks, offer gifts, ask for her address, invite her out, and more. At least this is what I observed while following a beautiful woman around all day for many days. She received so many compliments that it became somewhat annoying even to her. People lavished her with much praise for about everything she did. As she conducted her job search, potential employers told her they were looking for someone who was beautiful. One employer said she wanted to hire someone with a “beautiful presence.” Naturally, the beautiful woman found a job with no difficulty.
If being beautiful means a person can have more friends, find more jobs, and influence others, then it is obviously convenient to be beautiful. To be unattractive means that an individual has some proportions that are less standardized and more unusual. There are some obvious reasons why a person considered less attractive by the majority might benefit from the struggle to attract others. She will benefit by having to do her job better or by having to study diligently.
A person who is less attractive will be attractive to someone somewhere. He or she will have to work harder to prove himself in some areas or studies. In order to compete with the so-called “beautiful” person, the “average” person will have to go the extra mile. He or she might seek to be more courteous or creative. She might develop a special talent like art, singing, or a sport. Perhaps the less attractive individual will decide to read more books in order to be appreciated for her knowledge. She might become a learned person to prove herself. Those people who are not considered extremely beautiful will know what it feels to work hard to achieve something without relying upon their looks. The same could be said of older people who have to try harder to find a job than younger people.
The notion of beauty is in the mind so, to some extent, there is truth in saying people are as beautiful as they feel. It is important not to became vain or to envision oneself as being better than others no matter how beautiful one feels.
One risk that beautiful people face is that of becoming lazy if they should become narcissistic, believing that everyone else should praise them and give them free gifts. Everyone needs to retain some humility. If parents and the world give a man too much constant praise, he will run the risk of believing himself to be too important. If he becomes narcissistic, he will sit around expecting others to be his servant. One beautiful woman said she was “too beautiful for her husband.” She told him “no one other than her would have him because he was not very good-looking.” Another beautiful man refused to work for nine years and continuously reminded others of how he was so handsome. Thus, he said his wife’s DNA was inferior and that she should be his servant for that reason. Such are the results of having an over-inflated ego due to believing oneself to be the “epitome” of beauty. Not every beautiful woman or man becomes self-absorbed. Many beautiful people do not have big egos and are considerate of others.
Self-absorption results from having received so many compliments that a man believes himself extremely handsome. Such people might miss out on studying at the university or developing their minds in other ways when they feel they can get by on beauty alone. Unfortunately, no one will be beautiful for eternity, and it does pay to dedicate some time to learning a skill or about the arts and humanities no matter how attractive he might be. No one is so perfect that he or she would not benefit from learning for learning’s sake.
Perhaps the real beauty is one’s ability to see inner beauty in the heart of a kind person regardless of the exterior person. Sometimes the happiest relationships are those in which one individual is prettier than the other but in which the love is more about the inner values that are shared between two individuals. Who would not admire the person who has enough beauty within to be able to see inner beauty in others? True, lasting relationships grow from kindness within two individuals despite issues of beauty.
The advantages of beauty include being afforded many opportunities to work, to date, to marry, and to be loved by others. Most people would enjoy those opportunities and the state of being beautiful, but one must never forget that in some cases, having too much beauty and receiving too many compliments leads to becoming arrogant, narcissistic, and selfish. Thinking that they can rely upon their beauty alone, many women and men never reach their intellectual and spiritual potential. Therefore, the author of this article believes that each of us should seek to live humbly, to nourish our minds, and to open our minds to the possibility that true beauty comes from within. Once we embrace the beauty within the person, not the exterior appearances, we become more adept in relationships as well as dating, love, and marriage.